Broken

Soul messed-up in so many ways and forms I don’t even remember

There are flashes of what has been and what might be

What I wanna be

Where I want to be

With whom

And doing what

I want him to feel me, I want him to genuinely want to know me

I want him to text those cute texts and mean it all

I crave to feel myself

But if I don’t, and I don’t think I do

Him feeling something would be my consolation prize

Us, not feeling love, not feeling anything

But having those nights together, those hard pushes in me

Through me

Those lustful kissing and awkward talking about oral sex after

I wish I felt something

Maybe I do

But all the hurt I’ve survived and endured doesn’t let me